Archive for the ‘Supernatural’ Category

Also known as the Buffy Musical.

I kinda want the world to fuck off and die, to quote a friend, as I sit here stealing my neighbor’s wi-fi. The cable company had the gall to call me for a customer satisfaction survey today, despite the very unsatified nature of our untimely separation. Generally something that moves me to the point of trembling with rage does not incline me towards giving them high scores. But that’s not it.

I don’t know what ‘it’ is though.

Maybe there’s a dark cloud, maybe I’m just not looking on the bright side, maybe I am internalizing some slight that I have not consciously dealt with, though the fact that I can think of a couple things that pissed me off greatly makes me feel as though this may be less likely since there is conscious anger-dealing-with going on at the moment. Maybe it’s hormonal. I have been stuffing my face in a meaningless and ineffective attempt to make myself feel better. It hasn’t worked.

The Buffy Musical made me a little happier. Well, not actually happier. But it provided passing distraction and amusement and drowned out the fucking rain that’s been going on for the past 24 hours. I even packed up some stuff in an attempt to cheer myself with the thought that I will be leaving this fucked up indentured servitude of mixed signals insane expectations soon, and it didn’t do much. I LOVE the Buffy Musical though, and it should make me happier. Especially the Spike parts. And the Giles parts. Because men with nice voices make me weak in the knees.

Now I am just making my favorite numbers play over and over again.

Whisper in a dead man’s ear, it doesn’t make it real

Since I’m only dead to you, I’m saying stay away, and let me rest in peace

You just love to play the thought that you might misbehave, but til you do, I’m telling you, stop visiting my grave

I touch the fire and it freezes me, I look into it and it’s black. Why can’t I feel? My skin should crack and peel

Turns out there’s a CD. I kinda want it, in a vague way.


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I pass by a Chevron station every morning on my way in to the hospital. I buy gas there too sometimes, but mostly I just pass by as I am trying to maintain consciousness and suck down my coffee. I think the electronic sign that displays the gas prices is haunted. Because most mornings, probably four out of five of then, the sign goes all wonky, stops displaying the price, and starts showing random shapes (or as random as is possible given the limited conformations of the digital readout)  for about one full second as I approach before reverting to pretending to be a normal, non-haunted, sign and telling me gas is $3.23 today. This happened the first few times without me thinking much beyond it being strange and perhaps wondering if there was a short. It does not happen in the evening or the afternoon if I pass by, only in the morning though.

After the first few times, catching it out of the corner of my eye and thinking it strange, I began to actually watch it. When it still did the weird creepy-movie-dream-sequence non-numbers flash I began to wonder if I was crazy. Was I seeing things? Imagining them? It’s been happening for several months and the rest of my life has continued without someone offering me the choice between any red and blue pills, so I have begun to accept that there is probably something odd going on. If I was crazy, I would hope that it would show in more ways than this one, very limited, less than spectacular way. If I’m gonna be nutso, I want to be batshit, white coat, rubber room crazy, thank you very much.

I can really only think of two possibilities beyond crazy though. The first, more ‘logical’ explaination is that there is a super-bored attendant sitting and waiting for me to pass by in the mornings so he can press a button and freak me out. This seems even less likely than something bizzarre or supernatural for the following reasons: 1. Seriously, how bored would you have to be? 2. It assumes an astounding level of narcissism- why would he select MY pickup to taunt? 3. He would have to watch like a hawk. I do not go by at a consistent time daily. All in all, I consider the actual likelyhood of this being possible to be less than the likeyhood of the supernatural.

Which leaves weirder options. Does my 1995 pickup truck emit some sort of crazy electromagnetic interference that fucks with the sign? If so, how? Or, as I mentioned, either the sign, my pickup, or both are haunted or inhabited by gremlins that think it is either funny to mess with me, or they like talking to each other as I pass by. I don’t know what it means that I have accepted that this may be the most likely possibility.


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I honestly wish more days were costume days. I think costumes are brilliant. They’re fun, they’re silly, kids get to be kids, and adults get to be kids too. They’re a great display of creativity and artistry in some people’s hands and wonderful tradition in others. Too bad you only get to dress up and pretend (for fun) once a year, unless you’re employed on a stage somewhere of course.

My favorite traditional costumes include vampires and pirates. Because honestly, before this whole Twilight thing, both were absolutely straightforward, but oh-so-flexible. You can have adorable little kid vampires and pirates begging for candy with blacked out teeth and peg legs on your doorstep and you just have to grin. Like a fool. Because it is freaking adorable, especially with the plastic fangs and stuffed animal parrots. Then, after the candy is passed out, you go to the adults’ party and there’s a whole different spin on the idea. You get tramp vamps, wenches, and half naked men! That’s something for everyone, right?

Then there are always the group things. Sadly, I’ve never been a member of one of these, but saw some of the best ones in undergrad. The rendition of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles complete with Splinter, weapons and unwieldy shells showing up for the annual live performance of the Rocky Horror Picture Show will always remain a  favorite. Salt and Pepper, Red Bull and Vodka, and other famous pairings get a mental high-five from me as well. I once saw a full five piece place setting walk into a party. No idea who came up with it, but it was brilliant and would have won any contest there.

Now, just wearing your normal skanky clothes and a pair of fuzzy ears? No thanks, please save that for you significant other at home. I have no problem with revealing IF some effort is put into it to make it look artsy and costume-y. That is to say: it’s fine if there’s a point other than “Hey look, I’m half naked.” I expect I’ll see a few Na’vi this year, and that’s great (gorgeous film) and can be totally sexy/barely clothed in public while still being decent at the same time if care is taken to do the paint properly and make it as awesome as it should be. I mean, if it’s not gonna be good, why even bother?

I say this not as a costume snob. I’ve done the skeleton, the cat (more than once), vampire, etc. I am not the one to go to for original, kick ass costume ideas. I get by, and I have a basic skill set, that’s all. But everyone, please just do something. Make some sort of an effort if you’re going bother at all. I love seeing costumes and I’m not hard to please. I just want to marvel at the variety of both new ideas and variations on old ideas that Halloween is about. Better just to put on a silly sweater with pumpkin on it than make a truly half-assed attempt at a costume.

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It is just really not a good idea.

At all.

There are things that happen in daily life in the medical world that are half voodoo, half superstition , and half tradition. If you look over someone’s shoulder as they’re preparing to put in an intravenous catheter, you never remark on how good the vein looks. You never call the family before the patient is awake from anesthesia. If an emergency talisman of healing has been affixed to the patient (their bed, their chart, the door handle, etc) it cannot be removed before they actually go home, even if there is no reason to expect them to relapse or suddenly have a horrible accident. Saying anything along the lines of ‘nothing could go wrong’ is asking for a train wreck or a freakish never-before-seen complication. Saying you “never see that complication/reaction/outcome” is asking for it just as surely. Never, ever say that it’s been quiet!

Avoiding these things  becomes second nature. It’s not uncommon for someone to begin a sentence and stop halfway though when the realized what they were about to say.  We all know where they were going and sigh a little mental sigh of relief that they stopped before throwing the gauntlet down before fate. Occasionally, though, even thinking something is too much.

As I walked down the hallway today, thinking about the day and cases before me, I realized and thought, ‘”none of my patients have died recently.” I immediately wished I could bleach my mind. Take it back. Hit rewind and do it again, without that cursed thought. Even thinking that is asking for death to visit. And naturally, I wound up taking on a critical patient who is spending the night in the intensive care unit.

Hopefully fate is feeling kind enough to overlook my transgression.

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